Lampanelli takes pride in being an insult comedian

It doesn't take long for Lisa Lampanelli to start with the insults.

Just a minute or two into an interview, the comedian expressed her disapproval of other female comics, specifically Rita Rudner.

Actually, we said, we kind of like Rita Rudner.

"That's because you're a [homosexual]."

With Lampanelli, insults are what you get. She is proud to claim the title of insult comic "That, to me, is a badge of honor."

"Anyone can stand up there and tell dumb jokes or observational crap. But the fact is, there are like, two, three people in the world who can do insult comedy, because they have not a bone to pick with any race, and they are unprejudiced and they have . . . a warm personality."

Lampanelli, who comes to The National tomorrow and has an HBO special premiering Jan. 31, specializes in racial and ethnic insults. But she gets away with it because she insults everyone equally, including herself -- particularly her weight and her fondness for dating black men (her autobiographical first book, due out in September, is called "Chocolate, Please").

"I'm not saying stereotypes are true for every person in that ethnic group, but it all started from somewhere, like Jews are annoying. Yes, Jews are annoying. Not every single Jew is annoying, but there are enough that you go, 'You know what? We are an annoying people.' The stereotypes start from somewhere, and then I use them in a ridiculous way to get people to know how ridiculous the stereotypes are, to stereotype people across the board," she said on the phone from Los Angeles.

When the 47-year-old Lampanelli was growing up, the only comedy she would watch on television were the roasts hosted by Dean Martin. She was captivated by the way the comedians on the shows were all friends, having such a great time together while making fun of one another.

It was only later in life that she learned that only some of the comics were friends, and some were not. But in watching the stars' insults, her eventual career path was already planted in her mind. And, in fact, she has participated in a number of celebrity roasts herself, from Pamela Anderson and Chevy Chase to Flava Flav, Jeff Foxworthy and William Shatner.

"Those were all televised on Comedy Central, so there's a lot of pressure to them," she said, particularly because she tends to go on last. Other comedians are such wimps that they don't want to follow her, she said. So it is especially important for her to kill -- the word comedians use to mean being a roaring success on stage.

"If you can kill last, you can kill in your sleep, because it's hard to do. It's really hard, because everybody's covered a lot of the subject matter, so your jokes have to be much more original. The 80th boob joke about Pam Anderson has to be really good, so everybody will still laugh at a boob joke.

"It's just a lot more pressure and harder than I thought it was going to be. But I'm not going to stop doing them."

Lampanelli theorizes that comedians go into the business because their childhoods went beyond being merely unhappy. From talking to her colleagues, she believes that 99 percent of comedians were molested as children, though not necessarily sexually. Some were made to feel uncomfortable by family members or friends; others were beaten, which she said is considered abuse in some cultures.

"Nobody stands up to an audience seeking acceptance if they got it as a kid. The best, most well-adjusted people are accountants and people like that. Because they know they have a boring, awful life, and they were just happy as kids and they don't have anything to prove."

Lampanelli began her working life as a journalist, working for such magazines as Rolling Stone and Spy. But she did not like the jobs -- she said she worked for Spy just to go to the parties -- the pay was low and the work was difficult. At Spy, she was chief of research, which was daunting because the magazine used so many anonymous sources.

"So that was too hard, and I quit. That's what I do. If it gets too hard, I just quit. That's why I'll never quit comedy, because while it's hard, I know there is so much progress being made every year in my career, that I'm like, 'Oh, I'm not quitting. I'm doing well.' So the minute I don't see progress, 'See ya! I'll work at Kinko's. I don't care.'"

So does that mean she doesn't crave the spotlight?

"I probably do. So I probably lie and say I'm an alcoholic and go to AA meetings just to talk in public."

She added, "To be honest, being up on stage is the only time I have a good time in my life. So thank God I do it, or I'd be miserable more than even you."

Another insult. With Lampanelli, that's what you get.

Contact Daniel Neman at (804) 649-6408 or dneman@timesdispatch.com.