Wedded to a choice

Long before Terra Gibson slipped a ring on her finger as a symbol of her commitment to remain a virgin until marriage, the 16-year-old was wedded to the promise.

It's a choice she said is personal, though influenced by those around her who encourage her to consider the consequences of every decision. Should the home-schooled teen falter or change her mind, she knows how to practice safe sex and prevent pregnancy.

Gibson explored both ends of the sex education spectrum this summer in Camp Diva, an empowerment program for teen girls.

"If you're going out and having unprotected sex, it's because you don't know the risks," she said.

What teens know about sex, versus what they do when tempted, is as touchy a subject as comprehensive sex education versus abstinence-only programs.

The debate was thrust into the spotlight this week when British comedian and MTV Video Music Awards host Russell Brand ridiculed a boy band's decision to delay sex until marriage. Brand later apologized to The Jonas Brothers, who wear purity rings, after artists who have made similar pledges came to their defense.

Locally, opinions are mixed about the most effective way to educate teens bombarded with pressure to "just do it" from peers, bed-hopping celebrities and television commercials spiced with sex.

"We tell students to take this period in your life to find out what it is you like. Develop your skills, your talents and abilities," said Sir Walter Scott III, youth minister at Mount Gilead Full Gospel International Ministries. "It may be hard to shift the focus off sex, sex, sex, sex because it's put in front of you, but . . . you really can turn away."

Scott, a husband and father, said he knows how challenging that can be. Nearly having sex before marriage prompted him to don a promise ring in college. He said he did a lot of jogging and push-ups before he exchanged that ring for a wedding band at 27.

"It helps . . . especially as a man," he said. "If your hand starts to travel somewhere where it shouldn't, you see some kind of flash to remind you, 'No, you made a commitment.'"

One teen said some of her peers wear the rings to make their parents happy but do everything except intercourse because they don't consider oral sex to be real sex.

Other teens said the rings are a good idea but not always necessary.

"I don't wear a purity ring, but everybody knows I'm not going to do it," said Emily Bell, a sophomore at Matoaca High School. "[Having sex] is really personal, and you can't get your innocence back. You only get one shot at it."

According to research by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, one in four teen girls has a sexually transmitted disease. Advocates of comprehensive sex education say abstinence-only programs aren't effective.

Gov. Timothy M. Kaine cut state funding for abstinence-only sex education programs last year. Virginia is one of about two dozen states to take that action.

It was a move Planned Parenthood Advocates of Virginia supported.

"The congressionally funded Mathematica Policy Research study found that teens who receive medically accurate, comprehensive information delay sexual activity and intercourse when they have the knowledge and self-awareness about using contraceptives," said Jessica Honke, director of public policy for Planned Parenthood.

According to the report, abstinence-only educated teens had the same number of sexual partners and had sex for the first time at the same age as those who weren't in either program.

"Providing information that helps [teens] make responsible decisions will help them lead healthier lives and not feel so much pressure to make decisions they're not comfortable with," Honke said.

Several teens agreed, whether they planned to abstain from sex or not.

"We're at an age where we have raging hormones and urges, but stay steadfast and stick with what you know," Gibson said.

"Before you know it, you'll have this beautiful mansion which will be your life."

Contact Penelope M. Carrington at (804) 649-6027 or pcarrington@timesdispatch.com.