Is someone in your house a bit stressed out these days?
If you're a parent reading this question, you're likely answering by pointing a finger at yourself.
However, pediatric health-care professionals and child advocates are increasingly warning parents to watch for signs of stress in their children.
Two weeks ago in this space, I wrote about the importance of incorporating play into children's lives and interviewed Joan Almon, executive director of the Alliance for Childhood, a national nonprofit organization of health professionals and educators focused on children's health and well-being.
During our chat about how to make life more "play-filled," we wound our way into a discussion on children and stress.
Almon broached the subject to explain why play is an important way to help kids de-stress.
Yet she was soon describing how stress among today's youth is more prevalent than ever, and how important it is for parents to help alleviate it so their children can be happier and healthier.
"Many of us who have worked with children over the decades have seen that they are more stressed than they used to be," said Almon, who served as an early childhood educator for 30 years before helping found the Maryland-based alliance.
"There's a lot more pressure on children today," she said. "They are expected to master things at a much earlier age than they used to be, more than I would even say is developmentally appropriate. [A set of proposed] new standards for the nation's kindergartners include children needing to read with some fluency."
The alliance and its members hear often from teachers that young students are burned out.
"I always hear about third and fourth grade," she said. "A friend had her twins in first grade last year, and the teacher said, 'I love teaching first grade because the children are so alert and interested in everything. I look across the hall at fourth grade, and the light is out.'
"Children should be enthusiastic about life and learning throughout childhood," Almon said.
The alliance and other youth-advocate organizations believe stress in children can be alleviated through simple but conscious steps.
For example, if your children play sports, keep it fun for as long as possible before allowing competitiveness to reign. If they show an interest in music, introduce lessons in a light, playful way. Review your children's schedules, especially if they complain about being overwhelmed, and see if there are areas in which you can cut back.
Avoid fretting about stressful adult issues, such as finances, employment woes or strained relationships, in front of your children so that they won't worry with you.
Spend "down time" with your children, when nothing is on the schedule, and listen attentively if they want to share fears, frustrations or concerns. Work together to come up with solutions.
"Overall, [our society] no longer appreciates childhood as a special state of time," Almon said. "Children feel like they're not supposed to be children anymore, and if they are behaving like children, somebody is telling them they're doing something wrong."
Parents, and other adults, can counter this status quo by celebrating the children in their lives and reassuring them that it's OK to be kids.
Stacy Hawkins Adams is a Chesterfield County-based novelist, professional speaker and freelance writer. She's also a wife and mom, with a son and daughter ages 8 and 11. She can be contacted at stacy@stacyhawkinsadams.com.
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