From DVD programs that supposedly expand your brainpower to speed-reading programs, many products cater to parents looking to give their children a leg up in life. But before you rush out to buy a brain-enhancing product, consider another (free) alternative: instilling a good habit or routine.
There are many reasons why a good habit is a better bet than a fancy flash-card system.
For starters, there are neural connections to consider. The young human brain develops trillions of connections, called synapses, during the first 10 years or so of life. Ones that aren't used repeatedly get pared away during the later teenage years.
So the earlier you institute a good habit, the more strongly the neural connections are wired and the more likely the habit is to stick over a lifetime.
Secondly, their prefrontal lobes (responsible for insight, planning and other big-picture executive functions) do not fully develop until the ages of 18 to 25. As a parent, part of your job is to serve as their external prefrontal lobe. That means you must look ahead for them and identify which kind of regular behaviors will serve them best in the long run, start them on the path to adopting that behavior and then bolster their (weak) wills when they falter.
To top everything off, the chances are that your own involvement in their adoption of the new habit will strengthen your relationship with them and maybe even build your own good habit muscle a little, too.
Here are ways to help your child develop a positive habit.
1. Plan the week. Sure, spontaneity is the spice of life but, overall, it is better to have a sense of the week ahead.
Sit down with your children Sunday night and help them plan the week ahead. Discuss the micro and the macro — say, how to plan for the science project that's due in three weeks as well as how to take into account extracurricular activities and coordinate schedules with everyone in the family.
Resist the urge to give the answer. Instead, engage your children in the planning: Ask questions that engage and strengthen their planning muscle. It will help develop critical skills that can be used throughout their lives.
2. Make a morning routine. Mornings can be difficult, especially for teenagers. Start the kids on a path to productivity by enforcing a morning routine as soon as possible. The critical components are: getting dressed, making the bed, brushing teeth and organizing what they need for the day.
If mornings are really a problem, institute an evening routine when everyone (including Mom and Dad) can get backpacks, keys, wallets, purses and whatever else organized and ready by the door before hitting the hay.
3. Good things do happen to those who wait. Nothing prepares kids better than teaching the lesson of delayed gratification. A study showed that a child's ability to hold off on eating a cookie at age 4 correlated with overall success later in life. Impulse purchases are part of our culture. A little treat for a kid now and then isn't a bad thing, as long as you also reinforce delayed gratification.
Waiting for something a person thinks he really wants helps to separate the nice-to-haves from the musts and almost always makes whatever it is he's waiting for that much sweeter in the end.
Starting good habits, whether it's making the bed, picking up toys or organizing their bags for baseball practice, helps kids become more productive and, yes, organized, adults.
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