Dining Out Review: Friend or Pho

With a name like Friend or Pho, the new "Asian gastro pub" in the former home of The White Dog in Richmond's Fan District is not meant to be taken too seriously.

Vampire Weekend and the Pixies rocking on the stereo; friendly, tattooed bartenders pouring one of many draft beers; and a chalkboard-covered ceiling begging for inappropriate doodles make that completely clear.

Even Friend or Pho's Facebook profile drives home the point, describing the eatery as "upscale and lowbrow" and noting, "It's pronounced FUH by the way." I like a sense of humor when dining out, but if the menu consists of only six entrees - most of which are painfully bland, not to mention being as far removed from anything resembling Vietnamese cuisine as possible - I'm not laughing.

In a nutshell, Friend or Pho is a fun place to go with friends for a beer. If it weren't for Virginia's ABC laws, this place wouldn't need food to draw a regular crowd. The bar always seems to be packed.

For those of us looking for more than alcohol, it doesn't have to be this way. Take Sticky Rice, for example. It does with sushi what Friend or Pho should be doing with Vietnamese food - using the basics as a starting block and getting crazy in the name of producing fun, flavor-filled fare that isn't trying to be authentic.

This is why, after a few visits, I just can't get down with what Friend or Pho is dishing up.

Its fried rolls taste indistinguishable from one another. The spring roll ($5) filled with pork, shrimp, crab, carrot, shallot and garlic should have a different flavor profile than the seemingly more earthy fall roll ($4), stuffed with pork, mushroom and cilantro. But it doesn't.

Both taste like something you'd purchase in your grocer's freezer, only these come with the added bonus of having to wipe oil off your fingers.

Appetizers aren't much better. The Firecracker Shrimp ($5.95), six fried wonton-wrapped shrimp, suffer a similar greasy fate. Accompanying "sweet chili sauce" looks and tastes like orange marmalade studded with chili flakes.

Seoul Fried Chicken ($7.95), twice-fried drumsticks covered in a cloyingly sweet soy-garlic glaze, is decent for a few bites, but the overall flavor isn't worth the mess these monstrously medieval legs of meat cause.

The noodle-salad entrée ($7.95), with choice of chicken, pork, beef, shrimp or tofu and mushroom, is Friend or Pho's take on a Vietnamese vermicelli noodle bowl. Thin noodles are topped with veggies, bean sprouts, peanut, rice-wine vinaigrette and spring-roll pieces, making for a semi-decent entrée if you're not looking for the dynamic and refreshing combination of herbs and tanginess for which this dish is known.

Warm rice salad ($7.95), available with the same meat or tofu options, is similar to fried rice. The menu lists cilantro, basil and fresh ginger as ingredients, but I had trouble distinguishing anything other than garlic. My choice of chicken - large, nicely grilled pieces fanned on top - needed some sort of seasoning.

Friend or Pho's namesake pho should be avoided, not just by authentic Vietnamese food enthusiasts but by anyone not willing to pay $7.95 for what tastes like a bowl of ready-made soup filled with unseasoned meat and lifeless noodles. The sparse and wilted side of cilantro, basil, Thai peppers and lime didn't add flavor.

What Friend or Pho does have going for it is a great staff. Servers and bartenders make you feel welcome and know the ins and outs of the extensive beer list quite well.

I suggest having dinner elsewhere and hitting Friend or Pho for post-dinner drinks or if you plan to drink enough so that what you're eating doesn't matter.

Freelance writer and graphic designer Dana Craig has been reviewing restaurants for The Times-Dispatch since 2004. The Times-Dispatch pays for the meals on her unannounced visits to restaurants. Contact her at dcraig@timesdispatch.com.