The early life of Brooks Gibbs wasn't always a pretty thing to see. But those hardscrabble years weren't a lost a cause.
The Detroit-based motivational speaker spent Saturday in Goochland County, sharing with 318 students from 70 area high schools the lessons he learned and offering the girls ways they could apply those lessons, in the hope that they don't have to live through the pain he did.
He was the featured speaker at the seventh annual Capital One Future Leaders Forum for Young Women, held at the company's West Creek Town Center building.
The girls, plus more than 100 volunteers from the company, listened to Gibbs' engaging narrative about growing up around drug and alcohol addiction, emotional distress and divorce. Equal parts funny and tear-jerking, his story kept coming back to a central theme.
"If you don't live with wisdom, if you don't live with a strategy, you will live with regret," he said.
He said no girl ever dreamed of growing up to be broke or a drug addict or the victim of domestic violence.
"No kid ever had that lame of a dream," he said.
The problem, he told the girls, was the Catch-22 of life: that you have to make some of the most important decisions you'll ever make at an age when you're least prepared to make them, and that a single bad mistake can define you for years to come.
"The choices you make will determine who you will be and where you will go," he said.
He urged the girls to find mentors, to be careful of anyone — particularly boys — trying to push bad ideas and to have "a clear, vibrant, potent vision" for their lives.
"You can't touch a girl with a strong vision," he said.
The message wasn't a hard sell in the room.
"He's really interesting to listen to," said Adjoa Henderson, a senior at Franklin Military Academy in Richmond. "He offered great insight on how to handle yourself."
After the talk, the students split into three groups for the rest of the day, with sessions focused on financial literacy, life after high school and, with Gibbs leading the way, dealing with peer pressure.
Katie Fottrell, a sophomore at the College of William and Mary and a four-year participant when she attended Cosby High School in Chesterfield County, was back for her second year of mentoring students.
"Life isn't easy," she said. "But you can control your own life. What this does is teaches you about facing challenges."
Callie Angle, a senior at Clover Hill High School in Chesterfield, quickly accepted a challenge put forth by Gibbs during the first of three seminars he conducted. He wanted a volunteer to join him on stage so he could teach the girls how to fend off peer pressure.
When he told her to take her best shot, she didn't hesitate, taking him to task for everything from his hair (like a porcupine, she said) to his clothes (a bit young-looking for an old man of 30).
"Wow, you're good at this," he said.
"It's just acting," she said.
When he tried pushing the pressure back on her, she stood her ground, never offering more credence to his insults than an "uh huh."
"You never know what you're going to get when you ask for volunteers," Gibbs said between sessions. "But it's always best in a group of girls."
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