The students at The Civility School raised their glasses of red and white sparkling juice in a toast.
"To The Civility School," one said. "To food," another said before they gently clinked their wine glasses.
The small group of 9- to 12-year-olds spent their last class of the session this month setting up and eating a dinner of what Civility School founder Robyn Jackson calls "difficult foods" — soup, dinner rolls and long-stranded spaghetti with sauce — while engaged in polite dinner conversation about musical instruments and the Iditarod.
Jackson teaches children ages 4 to 16 social skills, etiquette and manners with a focus on empathetic intention. The school is expanding this year with the purchase of the Jefferson Cotillion, a 33-year institution that teaches manners along with ballroom dancing to children in sixth- to ninth-grades.
The Civility School began about two years ago. Jackson, a former teacher and guidance counselor, said she matched facets of etiquette with children's developmental stages to create the school's curriculum.
The acquisition of the Jefferson Cotillion came after conversations with owner Frances Lee-Vandell and director Arlene Lee, who said it was good timing now that her youngest child has completed cotillion. Jackson's eldest sons have been through cotillion, which she said was a good experience for them. She said she wants to keep the cotillion's tradition alive while giving it a modern twist.
The Civility School already takes a modern look at manners and etiquette by teaching the etiquette of Facebook and dating to students of the appropriate ages.
Although Jackson's students were paying close attention in class, they often aren't thrilled by the initial idea of going to an etiquette and manners class. Wendy Carlton said she signed up her daughter, 9-year-old Hannah Margaret Fowler, after hearing about the school from a neighbor.
"At first, [it wasn't] very good, but then it got fun," Hannah Margaret said.
The cotillion's students range from being excited to attend to dreading the first class. Lee said they're usually happy to return.
Jackson said social skills often need to be taught to children. While most of her students have memorized when to say "please" and "thank you," they don't necessarily know how to continue or end a conversation.
"There are plenty of polite adults who don't have great social skills," Jackson said. "Great social skills make other people want to be around them."
Tasha Kates writes for The Daily Progress of Charlottesville.

Advertisement