Wrath of Woody: Week 5

WASHINGTON (2-2)
AT CAROLINA (0-3)

Time: 1 p.m.

Line: Panthers by 4

On the air: TV -- Fox; radio -- WXGI (950)

Inside slant: Washington deserves to be 0-4 after narrowly escaping a sweep by the wretched Rams, Lions and Bucs. Carolina comes off its season highlight, the bye week. When you dread both teams, take the points.

Wrath of Woody: Redskins coach Jim Zorn has taken the unusual, but much-needed, step of hiring a consultant to help owner Dan Snyder run the team. Washington 16, Carolina 14

OAKLAND (1-3) AT N.Y. GIANTS (4-0)

Time: 1

Line: Giants by 15½

Inside slant: Since 2006, the Giants are a league-best 38-19-1 against the spread. You don't have to wear a blue jersey to be a big fan. At the other extreme is Team Black Hole, which lacks a physical defense but allegedly has a hard-hitting coach. JaMarcus Russell (39.8 completion percentage) makes Oliver Perez look like Mariano Rivera. To even things up, maybe Eli should play in a boot.

Wrath of Woody: Raiders get off to a bad start when several players get on New Jersey Transit trains to the stadium only to discover their tickets are for the Long Island Railroad. New York Giants 31, Oakland 20

CINCINNATI (3-1)
AT BALTIMORE (3-1)

Time: 1

Line: Ravens by 8½

On the air: TV -- CBS; radio -- WHAP (1340)

Inside slant: Hunters would go berserk if deer were protected like NFL quarterbacks. "Can't shoot at the head. Or at the knees." Two very questionable roughing calls on Tom Brady helped beat the enraged Ravens. Cincy might be drained after needing an entire OT to edge the Browns.

Wrath of Woody: When he steps into the huddle to call the play, Ravens QB Joe Flacco begins by saying, "Quoth . . . " Baltimore 24, Cincinnati 23

CLEVELAND (0-4)
AT BUFFALO (1-3)

Time: 1

Line: Bills by 6

Inside slant: At least Eric Mangini doesn't have to worry about identity theft. Who would want to pretend to be him? It's too early for snow, so only 40-mph winds could enliven this dud.

Wrath of Woody: This game was the actual inspiration for the show, "Biggest Loser." Buffalo 6, Cleveland 2

PITTSBURGH (2-2)
AT DETROIT (1-3)

Time: 1

Line: Steelers by 10½

On the air: Radio -- WHAN (1430)

Inside slant: San Diego's nonexistent run defense made the previously undistinguished Rashard Mendenhall (165 yards) look like LaDainian Tomlinson in his prime. The Lions could make him look like Jim Brown circa 1961.

Wrath of Woody: The wheels are coming off, not of the auto industry, but the Steelers. Detroit 19, Pittsburgh 17

DALLAS (2-2)
AT KANSAS CITY (0-4)

Time: 1

Line: Cowboys by 7½

Inside slant: Cowboys fans once had Roger Staubach, one of the best clutch QBs ever. Now they're stuck with the anti-Staubach. Tony Romo was looking for a fifth down after throwing incomplete at :01 in Denver. He can't win the big one, but he's a highlight reel against patsies.

Wrath of Woody: Cowboys are inspired by threat of coach Wade Phillips to make them play crab soccer for a week if they lose to the Chiefs. Dallas 29, Kansas City 13

TAMPA BAY (0-4)
AT PHILADELPHIA (2-1)

Time: 1

Line: Eagles by 15

Inside slant: The Dalai Lama is in eight fantasy leagues, including one that counts fair catches. Yet he admits "Football enlightenment cannot be found by adding up unrelated numbers." Even in a body cast, Donovan McNabb would want to face Tampa Bay.

Wrath of Woody: Children, avert your eyes. Philadelphia 37, Tampa Bay 3

MINNESOTA (4-0)
AT ST. LOUIS (0-4)

Time: 1

Line: Vikings by 10½

Inside slant: Home teams are 32-29-1 against the spread, with favorites 35-26-1. Fun fact: For the 25th consecutive week, St. Louis, loser of 14 straight, won't be favored. Minnesota must be wary of a letdown after the Brett Bowl, but these are the sacrificial Rams.

Wrath of Woody: Rams have legitimate chance to match Lions' record of 2008. Minnesota 26, St. Louis 12

ATLANTA (2-1)
AT SAN FRANCISCO (3-1)

Time: 4:05

Line: 49ers by 2½

Inside slant: Mike Singletary, demonic leader of the 1985 Bears' killer defense, has transformed the 49ers. He's 8-5 (10-2-1 against the spread) with a team that was lost when he took over last October. His guys handle an undersized team that prefers its dome.

Wrath of Woody: Over dinner at a seafood restaurant, 49ers coach Mike Singletary asks his players what they have in common with the meal. "We are but giant prawns in the great NFL machine," he says. Atlanta 19, San Francisco 17

NEW ENGLAND (3-1)
AT DENVER (4-0)

Time: 4:15

Line: Patriots by 3

On the air: TV -- CBS

Inside slant: Bill Belichick faces former ally Josh McDaniels, who's gone from the jerk who drove away Jay Cutler to a miracle man. Denver is allowing only 6.5 points a game, which can't continue. The Pats' offense is perking up, and their defense has been surprisingly solid.

Wrath of Woody: To get it out of the way, Belichick mailed a handshake to McDaniel earlier in the week. Denver 11, New England 6

HOUSTON (2-2)
AT ARIZONA (1-2)

Time: 4:15

Line: Cardinals by 5½

On the air: Radio -- WRNL (910)

Inside slant: The Raiders' absurd offense may have deluded Houston's defense into thinking it's not that bad. If Kurt Warner can stay upright, he'll pick apart a bad road team.

Wrath of Woody: Before the game, Cardinals coach Ken Whisenhunt asks his players if they have any final questions and several respond, "Why aren't there any players from the University of Phoenix in the NFL?" Arizona 23, Houston 20

JACKSONVILLE (2-2)
AT SEATTLE (1-3)

Time: 4:15

Line: Seahawks by 1

Inside slant: Only eight of 62 losers have covered, none via the back door. Seattle's crowd calls itself "The 12th Man." Too bad the Seahawks are having trouble finding 11 healthy players. They won't stop Maurice Jones-Drew.

Wrath of Woody: "For the last time," Seahawks QB Matt Hasselbeck tells coach Jim Mora, "that is not my wife on 'The View.'" Seattle 23, Jacksonville 10

INDIANAPOLIS (4-0)
AT TENNESSEE (0-4)

Time: 8:20

Line: Colts by 4

On the air: TV -- NBC; radio -- WRNL (910)

Inside slant: Maybe the Titans used up all their luck starting 10-0 last season. At least they're the best of the 0-4 teams. They've been shredded for 282 passing yards a game, and Peyton Manning is hot.

Wrath of Woody: Colts are on prime-time TV so much, Manning keeps "pancake" makeup in his locker. Indianapolis 16, Tennessee 13

NEW YORK JETS (3-1)
AT MIAMI (1-3)

Time: 8:30 tomorrow

Line: Jets by 2

On the air: TV -- ESPN

Inside slant: Relax, Jets fans. Mark Sanchez was destined for a rookie meltdown sooner or later, and Mike Westhoff won't put Braylon Edwards on the hands team. The Jets will be psyched up to bounce back against Miami, which won't be able to play keepaway with the Wildcat. Chad Henne got off easy facing the depleted Bills in his first start. This week he'll meet many new people in the pocket.

Wrath of Woody: Rex Ryan is such a players' coach that he allows them to tailgate before games. New York Jets 17, Miami 13

Bye week: San Diego, Chicago, Green Bay, New Orleans -- From Staff and Wire Reports