Making tough choices about the prom

A white limousine and red roses or your dad's car and carnations?

Prom season will soon be in full swing yet an uncertain economy and growing lines at the unemployment office mean teens are making tough choices about the prom and sorting out their feelings about what it really takes to have fun on the big night.

While many students are spending as usual on designer gowns, spa treatments and five-star dinners, others are rearranging their priorities and spending accordingly. They might be cutting out an expensive dinner in order to rent a limousine, or making a dress rather than buying one.

Tammy Tibbetts, editor of mypromstyle.com and donatemydress.org said a current online survey of teens nationwide reveals that students are spending about as much as they did last year, particularly for dresses and beauty expenses.

But some, like Henrico High School student Melody Milleker, won't be buying a name-brand dress.

Her mother, Donna Milleker, figured that her 1988 Cinderella-style wedding gown with the big hoop skirt had outlived its usefulness, so she's using the satin-and-lace gown to make Melody's prom dress.

Like families everywhere, the Milleker household's finances are tight. Donna Milleker lost her job last month.

"At first, it was kind of hard for her," Donna Milleker said about her daughter having to settle for a homemade dress.

Some of her friends "have the name brands," she said. "But she has learned to adapt and she has learned to take what she's got. Money is not necessarily everything."

Melody said "a $12 pattern is a lot cheaper than a $200 dress." She said she's also skipping "the whole limo, dinner, fancy-flowers thing this year because I just plain can't afford it."

James River High School senior Nolan Jez said he's anticipating spending about $100 to $200 on his tuxedo and dinner for his date.

Because of his after-school activities, he doesn't have a job right now so he's not going to go overboard, he said. "I'm not going to rent a limo. It's a nice thing to do, but I hate asking for money. I want to be as thrifty as possible."

Louisa County High School senior Tamara Moore said some of her friends are considering wearing the same dress they wore to last year's prom.

Moore said she found a dress she liked, but the $125 price tag is a little steep.

"I'm trying to find one that's less than that," she said, because she'd like to have money to rent a limousine.

Manchester High School senior Kiara Powell said she and her friends are going to forgo the expensive dinner and instead have dinner at a friend's house, with each person bringing a different dish.

Powell said the girls are doing their own makeup. They're taking their pictures at Brandermill's Sunday Park gardens, rather than at the dance, and pooling their money to rent a limo.

James River senior Carter Brown said he still feels it's the guy's responsibility to pay for dinner and flowers on prom night. He's planning to spend about $75 for dinner and flowers for him and his date. He said his parents will help with the tuxedo rental, and he isn't renting the limousine.

"If you can afford it, it's great," Brown said about a limo, "but most people can't."

Henrico English teacher Adria Mayo said prom expenses can be a big turn-off for kids because they think they have to go all out to have fun.

"There's this mindset that there are things you have to do," she said, such as dinner and limos.

"Some students just don't have $30" for tickets, she said, referring to her school's price for tickets this year.

On the other hand, some school officials worry that with people cutting corners to save money on prom expenses, there will be a smaller turnout. And that could mean a leaner budget for senior-year activities, which prom sales pay for.

Melody and her mother pulled the wedding gown from the attic this week to get their first look at what they were working with.

Melody wants a dress with a full skirt.

"Even if I had all the money in the world, I'm fairly certain that I could find better things to spend it on than prom," she said. "Prom is all about the experience, and I don't feel that it needs to be all that over the top to still be something memorable."

Contact Holly Prestidge at (804) 649-6945 or .