Guest columnist Tyler Millner: a checklist for statesmanship

Acommunity provides a range of opportunities -- a place to live, marry and raise a family, to have fun, to be creative and to make life more meaningful for others.

Despite the challenges, tensions and seemingly unbridgeable divide among political camps, community is desirable.

These opportunities for community connections are often challenging in our technology-driven society. Also, it is a fact: Communities are more diverse in terms of race, economics, politics and faith.

However, these challenges can be seen as great opportunities for civic engagement. Although we have competing visions and goals, citizens can care and assume their share of responsibility.

Let me illustrate my point with a human-interest story.

Dr. Samuel DeWitt Proctor, former president of Virginia Union University and a Richmond favorite son, tells the story of an exchange between him and a traveling partner from England to Richmond.

For his ground transportation, instead of calling the car-rental agent, Dr. Proctor called a car dealer and said: "I will be in Richmond tomorrow, and I would like for you to send to the airport . . . a black Ford Crown Victoria, leather seats with air conditioning."

Dr. Proctor and his traveling partner arrived at the Richmond airport, and sure enough, there out front is a black Ford Crown Victoria. Sam's partner asked, "Sam, how can this be? No bill of sale, no exchange of money, no signing of papers."

Dr. Proctor's reply to his partner? "How can this be? Because we belong to the polis" (Greek for community).

Where you truly have community, you have a "gem." There is trust, and partners know the good intentions of others.

In the course of things, however, can be found competing visions, conflicts where leaders are so passionately tied to their point and/or vision and strategy that they refuse to take the high road . . . compromise for the "common good."

With such a standoff, what is needed is a statesman -- a leader who has no ultimate need to press his partisan view to the bitter end, a leader who can understand the viewpoint of the opposition and respect it.

For those who, in times of community conflict, wish to be a statesman, I offer a seven-point checklist:

• Recognize that no one individual possesses superior knowledge.

• Have the ability to admit that we may be arguing over two different issues.

• Have the ability in a heated debate to not demonize the opposing point of view.

• Recognize that the twin goals of community building and nurturing solidarity are greater than a "must have my way" partisan position.

• Have the humility to say "I could have it wrong."

• Take the time to suspend your own position long enough to fully hear as well as understand the opposing point of view.

• Take the lead committing to working toward a compromise.

The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. had wise counsel that the statesman will want to heed: "Everything that we see is a shadow cast by that which we do not see."

Tyler C. Millner is a pastor and civic leader in Martinsville. He can be reached at .