On the Ropes

Sign of the times

As if Notre Dame Coach Charlie Weis hasn't been reminded enough, a billboard a half mile from his office provided another indication of his on-the-hot-seat status.

It reads: "Best wishes to Charlie Weis in the 5th year of his college coaching internship. -- Linebacker Alumni."

"Everything was great until the last word," Weis said, laughing with reporters. "So tell them, 'Thanks a lot for wishing me best wishes.'"

That won't happen yet. Though the billboard sits above the Linebacker Inn near the Notre Dame campus, the hotel's general manager told WSBT of South Bend, Ind., they had nothing to do with the sign. Burkhart Advertising, which owns the billboard space, didn't return calls to the station.

Summed up Weis about the billboard: "Welcome to my world."

Romo: quite the romeo

If Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo underperforms this season, he can still expect his girlfriend to attend the games.

Numerous celebrity gossip sites are reporting Romo is currently dating Candice Crawford following his breakup with Jessica Simpson. Besides being the sister of "Gossip Girl" star Chace Crawford and 2008's Miss Missouri, Candice also is the host of the Cowboys' weekend sports show, "Special Edition."

So even if her presence causes Romo to lose another playoff game, Crawford may be nice enough not to ask him about it in postgame interviews.

Fashion statements

When it comes to outrage over Michael Vick's and Brett Favre's return to the NFL, the latest jersey sales numbers prove that being a polarizing figure may enhance popularity.

NFLshop.com says Favre's Vikings jersey has been the top seller, while Vick's Eagles jersey finished fourth.

Wrote Matt Snyder of Fanhouse: "These guys also have plenty of support in addition to all the intense hatred . . . unless people are buying these up to burn them?"

Time isn't on their side

Michigan has launched an investigation after current and former football players alleged in a Detroit Free Press story that Coach Rich Rodriguez forced them to exceed the 20-hour-a-week limit set by the NCAA for football activities.

Free Press columnist Drew Sharp then weighed in on the NCAA:

"These accusations cut to the core of the NCAA's biggest hypocrisy -- the idyllic illusion of the student-athlete, at least as it pertains to football. And that should be Michigan's greatest worry at the onset of the any inquisition.

"The NCAA might have no alternative but to stain the sainted image of Michigan football if it means protecting the greater fallacy of major college football as a part-time academic diversion."

Getting his kicks

Paul Watson is 25, an amateur soccer player from London, a freelance journalist and now, the youngest national soccer coach in the world.

It's an impressive achievement until one realizes Watson is coaching perhaps the worst national team in the world, Pohnpei.

Pohnpei, a tiny Pacific island with a population of 34,000, has never won a match. The closest it has come to victory was a 5-4 loss on penalties against rival island Yap.

Despite a recent 16-1 thrashing by Guam, Watson and his friend Matthew Conrad believe they can turn the program around.

"By chance we heard the country didn't have a coach at the moment and were looking for someone to take over," Watson told the Daily Telegraph. "Like idiots we said we would consider it. . . . Unfortunately they are the worst team in the world but I don't think they will be for much longer. With training they'll improve dramatically."

One Pohnpei player walks 1½ hours without shoes just to get to practice.

"That's why we are so keen to help them out and why we are appealing to sponsors" to donate shoes and uniforms, Watson said.

Called on the carpet

The Detroit Lions went 3-1 in the preseason, but just in case their fans get their hopes up, quarterback Daunte Culpepper has brought everyone back to earth.

Culpepper hurt his foot by tripping over a carpet at his home, an injury that resulted in eight stitches. With the Lions' No. 3 quarterback Drew Stanton requiring an MRI exam for a swollen knee, rookie Matthew Stafford appears to be the last man standing.

Not so good news for Culpepper: The turf at Ford Field is artificial. That's a lot of very dangerous carpet.

Displaying his liquid assets

Conclusive proof that people will buy almost anything related to their favorite team, a sports bar owner in Minnesota paid $750 for the "The Original Whizzinator" made famous by the Vikings' Onterrio Smith.

The Whizzinator is a urine-storing device that enables the user to cheat on a urine test. Smith was caught with the device at Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport in 2005.

Matt Little, owner of Buster's Sports Bar & Grill in Mankato, was the winning bidder. He plans to display the Whizzinator in a glass case next to jerseys of the Vikings' Adrian Peterson and the Twins' Justin Morneau. -- From Wire Reports