On the ropes

Only NBA tweets will be from whistles

The NBA has banned players from using Twitter or other social media sites during games. What's the world coming to when Shaq can't even update his Facebook while Charles Barkley is analyzing at halftime?

Clearly, this is what's wrong with the NBA. They want to limit players' attention to the actual games they're being paid millions to play.

Will replacement referees be foul?

Speaking of NBA games, the league will rely on 62 replacement referees while the regular referees are locked out. It's so tough to find people who are adept at making quick judgments under pressure, the league is considering hiring Paula Abdul.

Tigers go down fighting wrong way

Detroit Tigers first baseman Miguel Cabrera suffered scratches to his face after an apparently drunken fight with his wife last week, according to police records. The incident came in the midst of Cabrera's 0-for-11 weekend at the plate for the struggling Tigers.

This makes us long for the old days when players kept their priorities straight and concentrated on beating steroid tests.

Maybe he wanted popcorn

Former Giants receiver Plaxico Burress was visited at Oneida (N.Y.) Correctional Facility by his wife and son recently. Prison guards denied his wife's attempts to give him a microwave oven. I guess even in prison, Burress will continue with half-baked ideas.

A visit with the Boss

Yankees owner George Steinbrenner visited the team for the second time this season before their regular-season finale in Tampa Bay. Steinbrenner encouraged the players, said he was excited about the playoffs and told the team's general manager to make sure the Yankees win the World Series or he's firing Billy Martin.

IU, NCAA find common ground

The NCAA and Indiana University will have a tribute to late NCAA president Myles Brand later this month. The event will include speakers, video tributes and "artistic performances." Lets hope we see Nick Nolte and Frankie Muniz re-enact the choking of Neil Reed.

Big-time sports ahead

Binghamton University Athletics Director Joel Thirer has submitted his resignation after six players were kicked off the basketball team, including the star player who faced cocaine distribution charges. On the other hand, Thirer's goal of bringing more publicity to the program was a clear success.

In tennis, love means nothing

Golfer Greg Norman and former tennis great Chris Evert have separated 15 months after they were married. That means the most high-profile sports love affair will continue to be Chad Ocho Cinco and sideline cameras.

Can't blame Penn State loss on lack of fan support

Penn State might have lost its Sept. 26 game against Iowa, but it wasn't due to the home crowd's lack of effort.

Engineers in Penn State's graduate program in acoustics are measuring the sound generated by the crowd at the Nittany Lions home field, Beaver Stadium.

At points during the game, the sound levels reached 110 decibels.

Andrew Barnard, a senior research assistant at the Applied Research Laboratory, told the Penn State Daily Collegian, "You know if you're at a rock concert? If you're standing right in front of the speakers - that's how loud 110 decibels is."

Barnard said the game noise level can be predicted by whom the team is playing and how well Penn State is playing.

"That'd be so cool if it got louder," freshman Hollis Leidy said. "It really gets you into it."

Bush league

Some Chicago officials, still hurting from their city's first-round ouster in the race for the 2016 Olympics, are pointing fingers at the person they believe cost them the Games: George W. Bush.

"There must be" resentment against America, the Rev. Jesse Jackson told the Chicago Sun-Times. "The way we [refused to sign] the Kyoto Treaty, we misled the world into Iraq. The world had a very bad taste in its mouth about us. But there was such a turnaround after last November. The world now feels better about America and about Americans. That's why I thought [President Barack Obama's] going was the deal-maker."

No bellyaching here

And you thought you were hurting?

Spare your slowpitch teammates your playing-with-pain stories this week unless you can top:

• Ottawa Senators wing Milan Michalek, who got two front teeth broken in half by a high stick in Tuesday's game, leaving the nerves exposed and sending him off the ice - for maybe two minutes.

"I wanted to [take the penalty shot]," Michalek told the Ottawa Sun, "but the ref told me I was bleeding too much. The dentist wasn't coming [to the dressing room], so I just went back and played."

• Kyle Garnett, 38, slated to compete in this weekend's Ironman triathlon in Hawaii despite this medical chart: diagnosed with cancer (four times), bone-marrow transplant (1994), hipand shoulder-replacement surgery (2000), heart transplant (2006).

  Hooking penalty

The New Zealand Olympic Committee is threatening to sue taekwondo athlete Logan Campbell, who plans to fund his 2012 Olympic bid with proceeds from a brothel that he and a friend opened in Auckland this year.

In other words, he's about to get a second red light.

Rush week

Conservative talk-show host Rush Limbaugh wants to buy a share of the St. Louis Rams.

"In a related story," wrote Lorne Chan of the San Antonio Express-News, "Fox News just called the Rams the greatest team of all time."

Augusta south

Golf will be a new Olympic sport at the 2016 Games in Rio De Janeiro, the International Olympic Committee announced.

In lieu of a medal, however, the winner gets a gold jacket.

Hold that Tiger

As for claims the Tigers became the first team to blow a three-game lead with four games to go?

"Well, not exactly true," noted Len Berman of LenBermanSports. com. "As a couple of astute Top 5 readers pointed out, that's exactly what the Yankees did with the Red Sox in the 2004 playoffs."

Bucs stopped here

Two skiffs of Somali pirates got the shock of their lives last week when, in pitch darkness, they attacked a 18,000-ton French navy ship they mistook for a freighter - with predictable results.

And you thought the Pittsburgh Pirates were overmatched this season?

Mouthing off

• NBC's Jimmy Fallon, on President Obama inviting a bunch of House members over to play some White House basketball: "He didn't even want to play, he just wanted to see Congress pass something."

• New York blogger Chad Picasner, on some baseball playoff games not starting until 9:37 p.m. Eastern: "I can hear it now: 'Mommy, can I stay up and watch the national anthem?'"

Jets coach Rex Ryan, to The Associated Press, when asked his take on 6-3 receiver Braylon Edwards' first practice: "He looked tall." - From Wire Reports