For years, the punch line of intercollegiate athletics has been the football team always wants a university it can be proud of.
That would be funny had it not so often become so close to the truth.
Everyone in a university community should benefit from the astounding sums of money available through football and basketball, not just a privileged few.
For example, The Ohio State University went looking for a football coach recently, and found Urban Meyer, two-time national championship coach at the University of Florida.
Meyer will earn $4 million per year from Ohio State, plus an additional $2.4 million if he still is the Buckeyes' coach in 2018.
To Ohio State's credit, if 70 to 79 percent of his players graduate, Meyer gets $100,000, almost as much as he does if his team receives a bid to a Bowl Championship Series postseason game, $150,000.
If the Buckeyes' graduation rate climbs to 80 percent under Meyer — according to NCAA figures, 67 percent of Ohio State players graduated in the six-year period beginning in 2004 — he receives $150,000.
However, if his Buckeyes play in the BCS championship game, Meyer receives a bonus of $250,000.
Graduation rates are nice. Winning the biggest game is better.
At Virginia Tech, football coach Frank Beamer earns $2.3 million per year, significantly less than Meyer, but a livable wage in Southwest Virginia.
What do the students at Virginia Tech receive for the football team's success?
They can enter a lottery for a student ticket to a home game. Or, they can buy, at a reasonable price, a season ticket to Hokies' games.
This is on top of the athletic fee they pay each semester.
The head coaches of major college football and basketball programs earn millions of dollars.
We have this all wrong. Athletic programs should benefit the entire university, not just the people who work in athletic departments.
The ACC earned an estimated $41 million for its eight football bowl appearances this season.
Instead of being divided among the conference office and ACC athletic departments, much of that money should be deposited in general scholarship funds and be available to all students.
All the money the ACC, Big East, Big Ten, Big 12, and SEC will earn from the NCAA men's basketball tournament this season?
Same deal.
The euphoria Virginia Commonwealth University students felt when the Rams ran to the Final Four last season was rare. Wouldn't it have been nice if some of the NCAA money found its way into their 2011-12 accounts in the form of scholarships?
Trickle-down economics don't seem to work so well in the real world. It's time someone gave them a try in the unreal world of college athletics.
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